Get the F out of here 2007

The time has come to wave goodbye to 2007. This year kinda sucked for me. My AHNPW(average hottie nailed per week) was down to 12.5. But, due to the enormous popularity of my Fresno Hotties blog my earning for 07 should be in the high millions, or so....who knows, I just make it rain all over my bitches. I also had to shell out a ton in child support for the hundreds of mini-me's all over the continental US. I'm sorry, I just aint gonna put a straight jacket on my crazy man, he's just been to damn good to me. Ok, enough rambling. Enjoy some pics of some hotties enjoying the party they were at(which is wherever I'm at).

Uhm, sweety, you must not be doing it right. I suggest giving her "the shocker" and perk up this hottie.

The chick in the pink is waaaay hot. I love the scarf as a belt. I would have gone with a darker pink to accentuate the top and maybe bring out her skin tone. Uhm, I uh.....yeah she's hot.

Another WTF picture, although a ton hotter than Fridays.

Winter in Non-Paradise

As we all know Fresno sucks come December. The weather gets all cold, fog starts rolling in and every now and again we'll get into the 20's at night. Well guess what? I'm gonna be getting into the 20's tonight too!!! Maybe even the teens if she brings her younger sister. Don't hate, congratulate. Enjoy some pics of some warm days with some Fresno Hotties.

Smokin Hotties posted up next to the beer bong. I really don't believe it gets any better than this.

Hottie on the far left is a rocket, far right is a missile, middle is a scud.

I know, I know.......WHAT THE FUCK?

Gettin Ready for the Weekend

Most of the Hotties we are going to run into are the Party Hotties, the ones you see at every kegger, frat party, quinceanera or even the hmong new year bash at the fair grounds. These girls may not be 10's, but the fact the car throw down 3 irish car bombs and not blink an eye makes em a 10. Here's a few of those ladies for your viewing pleasure.

The party hotties getting ready to hit the town, frat house, backyard etc.

A little Captain in her mouth.....nice.

Here's a few 10's at 2. Notice the lady on the right all pissed off. More than likely because her best friends are cock-blocking her from an awesome one night stand with the drummer of Mr. Rude, or her panties are in the picture. Either one.

Hump Day Hottie - Andrea

Damn this Hottie is fine. I have always had a thing for red-heads like Ginger Spice, Molly Ringwald and Wilma Flintsone. As long as they're not a red-headed version of Danny Bonaduce I'm in. So here's a few hot picks of Andrea. Enjoy.

Christmas Eve blows

Yep, I said it. I hate this day. There's so much anticipation and you still have 24 hours to go before the real holiday. It's like holiday foreplay, and I HATE FOREPLAY. I just want to hit it and quit it like the Thug Gangsta I am. So, I am going to give you a gift from good ol' St Dick, some pics of some hotties I'd like to see stuffed in my stocking. I'd like them to rub my yule log and see what present I have for them at my South Pole. Enjoy.

p.s. I know this last Hottie is one of our hump day hotties, but she is soooooooo smokin she really deserves to be shown everyday.

Hump Day Hottie - Alyssa

Another amazing hump day hottie. Home girl looks a little like the chick from The Notebook(I have a softer side) meets any one of the last 10 broads I've banged in the last week(I also have a nasty side). Enjoy.

Ok, I'm sorry

I know it's been a few days since I posted some hotties, but I've been suuuuuper busy. I won't bore you with the details, but I was nailing a super model while on location as an extra in the new Indiana Jones movie(Harrison and I partied so hard). So here you go, just some regular Fresno Hotties. No witty theme or funny jokes. Just hotness. Enjoy.


Man this chick is smokin, but after I took the pic we got into a lil fight because I was lookin everywhere for the remote and guess who was laying on it? Bingo. Every dude knows a chick loses many levels of hotness when she bogs down our viewing experience. Like, for instance, when the game is on and she wants to watch Will and Grace or any Lifetime movie. Bitches.

Man, that six pack is smokin. And I love the new Army fatigues. Unfortunately ANYONE who has spent any time on a military base knows that the ratio if this chick to normal Army Notties/Lesbos is 1 to a million. Do the math and NEVER go to a military base trollin for snatch.

My balls, corner pocket.

They really do love you longtime

Anybody who knows me knows I rika da asians. What they lack in the breast/ass area they make up for in treating a man like a man needs to be treated. They do it all like washing the bacon strips out of the boxer briefs, spoon feeding me my caviar and assisting in the ass wiping process. Gotta love em.

Even with her pushing the breasts/ass out she's still lacking in both departments, but like I said before, she'll take a fucking bullet for her man. No white chick would do that. She'd just complain that you're spending to much time with the bullet and that she and the kids need you around the house more.

Uhm, is this guy fucking serious? Again, Douchebags need to quit ruining almost good pics. Tran in the middle is pretty fuckin smokin...the rest of the sushi has gone bad.

Here's my beloved Tran again. I really don't believe that to be her name, but every guy knows what you're talking about when you call an asian girl Tran. Also, what the fuck kinda drinks are those? Asian chicks who party WITHOUT karaoke? Count me in.

Steroids = Bigger Breasts

I've been doing some research and I have found that there are more than just a few ball players and an a shark mouthed track star that have used steroids. One thing we are sure of is steroids gives you bigger boobs, that's why they give it to turkeys and chickens. Well, I have found three young ladies who fuckin have to be guilty of takin the juice. You just don't get fun bags like this on your own. Enjoy.

Mitchell Report

So I guess this is a big day for baseball because I guess a bunch of players were on the juice. Color me surprised. Come on, Barry Bonds has muscles on his fucking forehead. When my hot ass personal trainer comes to the home gym for some "workouts" she has never had me do any head presses or forehead dead lifts. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they released a report of the 3 guys who DIDN'T use steroids. So, for all my fantasy baseball playin compadres who don't give a shit if Barry has balls the size of tic-tacs as long as he hits 50 home runs....here you go.

Fuck the yankees

Hump Day Hottie - Rachel

Jesus H. Christ this chick is hot. I'm setting the bar way to high with the first couple Hump Day Hotties. I'm guessing around March I'll be putting up employee pictures of Marge from the IRS. Oh well, this chick is bangin hot and she needs to be shown.

So Hot

So, I was out and about this weekend at some hot Hollywood party and I saw two hot chicks making out and I thought to myself, "self, damn that's hot". It really is one of the most beautiful sights you can see, right up there with a thong sticking out the back of a girls pants. It never, ever gets old, unless it's two bull dykes. That's never, ever hot. When I do allow a girl to take up a good portion of my time I set up the ground rules right away. Any more than 3 drinks and you're making out with a Hottie who is at least an 8 or above, no lower. I know, it's a tough rule, but that's what this country is made of, apple pie, baseball and drunk Hotties tongue wrestling.
To me this is the hottest of all drunk girl kisses, the one that comes from two girls that would be disgusted in it, until Daddy drops 3 rounds of Tequila on there asses.



This pic could actually be hot but pizza-nipples had ruin it. I don't know what's worse, his dinner plate nips or those GD sunglasses he's wearing. Oh, and he's paying zero attention to the Hotties makin out and lookin right at the camera just like some pole-smoking, butt loving.....Oh, i get it now.


Ok, you would think that the more is better, but oh contrare. Now it's just fun and cute, but take two ladies out of the equation and it's sex.

19 fuckin million!

Unless you live under a rock or spend your time strung out on Fresno Mountain Candy(meth) you know all about Stacy Johnson-Klein and her lawsuit against Fresno State. Personally, I think she's 6'4" of big hair and big boobs and I love her. All strung out on Vicadin, turning down old ass Athletic Directors. One big turn on. But, I can't stand women who pull the "sexual discrimination" card. Most women want to be discriminated against. Why in the hell did she get huge ass saline softballs if she didn't want to be discriminated against. True, Scott Johnson aint winnin any "good lookin" awards, but shit, blow the dude and win some basketball games. Damn.

Uhm, does her shirt say "tits contest", cuz if it does, we have a winner.

I guess the hot ones coach and the fugly ones play.

More bikini clad Hotties

It's Friday, the weekends here and it's time for some Fresno Hotties. I don't know what everyone else is doing this weekend but I'll be picking up garbage along 41 because of some bullshit community service. Apparently you CAN be too hot, and having a six pack of abs while driving gets you a DWIS, Driving While Incredibly Sexy. I plead guilty to all the charges.

Ok, other than the "way to big" smile, this chick is smoking hot. Got a beer in her hand, ponied up to the Beer Pong table, a huge rack, nice. Of course she has two strikes against her. Taking a hot ass pic with Ryan Douchcrest and Bobbie Five heads.

This hottie is also way smart. You never know when you're gonna get a growler goin and have to drop a deuce. I'm squeezing my Charmin right now.

Three Hotties at the beach. Ok, maybe I'm weird, but I think the Hottie that is plus 20lbs on the left is the hottest. Ladies are like sofas, and the two on the right are wicker. I like the plush, over stuffed pillowed ladies.

Hump Day Hottie - Kristen

Ok, Wednesday is a real shitty day. Absofuckin nothing goes on on Wednesday. No football, no cool drink specials at Logan's and the hotties stay home in preparation for the long weekend. Well, It's time to change all that with our Hump Day Hottie. We will focus on one local lady for your enjoyment. Our first lovely lady is Kristen. She's got everthing I like in a hottie, a nice set of Milkers, an awesome turd cutter and luscious lips. And when I kiss those lips they are like two....wait, you guys don't want to hear all that shit. Jealous mother f-ers.

Regular Hotties

To me nothing is hotter than a real hot broad doin normal day to day shit. Unfortunately my jet set life doesn't lead me to be around those types of ladies, so I have to find em on the internet.

Man I miss college. Big boobed co-eds like the one pictured here was the ONLY reason I attended 5 years of studies at The Fresno City. This is the kinda hottie that would always run to be my lab partner, only to find out all the chemical reactions will be going on at my casa.

Love love love the "gaming" hottie. Normally they do it just because it's the only way they can spend more than five minutes with their lame ass boyfriends, who would rather play World of Warcraft then drop a frogger on their hot ass lady.

Uhm, a different type of "regular" hottie. She better be courtesy flushing that shit.

Sorority Hotties

So I was out at the club this weekend and I ran into a whole gaggle of hot sorority girls and it made me remember when I used to be at Fresno State, nailing those broads like I was trying to set some "bangin" record for the Guinness Book of World Records. If I remember correctly I did set a couple of records. Most hotties banged in a 72 hour period and longest Johnson, tip to base. I won't throw out the winning number because the site will be flooded by bitches lookin to ride train 13 1/2, leaving the Girth Station every half hour. Whooo, Whooo!!!

Hot Sorority Girls love to throw funny themed parties like 80's night or bang Frat Douche bags night.

Sorority Hotties also like to do "dude" things like play football, Beer Pong or invest thousands in those "work at home" schemes/jobs. Whatever they end up doing it's hot. Oh, the chick on the far left with her shirt half up is a rocket in bed. The chick in the middle with "Service Above Self" shirt.....is not.

I have no idea what these girls are doing or why I posted it. I'm a fucktard. A fucktard with 13 1/2 inches of love wand!!!!