Time for the weekend

Here's a few Hotties from our home town to get the weekend started. I more than likely will not be near a comp this weekend to post more pics because I'll be in Hollywood hanging with Paris and Lindsay, and doin coke off Kim Kardashians monstrous ass. Laters.

What is Fresno known for?

Anyone who has spent more than 20 minutes in this shithole knows Fresno is known for two things. Over-aggressive pigs looking to hand out DUI's like hooker flyers in Vegas and Armenians. So, since we have a crap ton of Armo's in this town we SHOULD have some Armo Hotties. Uhm, yes we do. Enjoy.

Ok, so I know a bunch you guys are peepin this after going to the gym thinking you could nail any one of these hotties. Nope. You need to be at least 35, own a car lot, drive a Hummer, be about 30 lbs overweight, and have a uni-brow. Unless you're sportin all that you have no luck.

Atheletic Hottie

Now, not every hottie has to be scantily clad or have to be in a Nathan Frye pic, they can be just a regular girl who happens to play defense for the Fresno State Soccer team. Her name is Bradlee DeShane and she makes my goal post. No joke. I need hotter pics, so if you know where, please leave a comment. Actually, if you look closely theres a whole mess of hotties on that soccer team. I think I might venture out to a game this year, and if I do I'm sure I will double the attendance total by myself.

You might know her

I think this Hottie works at the local Hooters. She is way hot and serves Buffalo Wings. I think I'm in love. Wait, I am in love. I think I'm going today to profess my love and let her know exactly what I have to offer. A sweet "extra room" at the Singhs house where I stay. Don't worry, that smell eventually comes out. Also, you will be continually wined and dined by Wienerschnitzel and Natty Light. And lastly, what I lack in "size" I make up for in speed!

I dont know why, but i likey

Ok, It looks like our Fresno Hotties are trying to get artistic in their hottness. You definately won't be seeing this shit at the Met, unless it's on the bathroom walls. Anyway, sometimes it's nice to NOT see a face, or adams apple, because that was a one time thing and I really didn't know until it was too late. Nevermind.

Nathan Frye is the luckiest asshole in Fresno

Not everyone in Fresno can have a cool as shit job like myself. When I'm not at Hooters applying cleavage glitter, I'm out dropping fools who don't pay the vig from the weekends football game. I know, I live the coolest life ever. BUT, this jack-hole Nathan Frye is a close second. I wonder if this guy thought at 10 when he was snapping pics of his Mom and Dad at Disneyland that he would be taking the hottest pics of Fresno Hotties. I knoooooooooow for a fact that if I had his job there wouldn't be any hot models left because they'd all be knocked up because I close deals. End of story.

Still Recovering

Well, I'm still recovering from the long weekend that was filled with booze, hookers and tons of blow. Oh, and every night was filled with hot, animal sex with amazing Fresno Hotties. Ok, none of that really happened, but I did have hot animal sex, and yes, moo means of course you can have your way with me.

This is what happens when Fresno Hotties start drinking and having a good time. Too bad we don't have the next picture from this roll where I join this duo for some shower fun. Let's just say they were sufficiently lufa'd

Love the drunk Hottie who ends up in the back yard sans top. By the way, neck down she's Brittney Spears, neck up she's CC Deville from Poison.

Here we see a couple of Hot Tub Hotties. Notice they're making the same face, most hotties do this to let all available men know that they are ready for a ton of making out, heavy petting and eventual crying on our shoulder because they have a boyfriend and don't want to do anything "we'd" regret.

Show Me Your Pigskin!

On Sundays I wake up and go to church. No, not the one with dudes with comb-overs asking for the 2 bucks that's in my pocket, or the 22 year old hottie who has no desire to spend 3 1/2 minutes of ecstasy with me because she's saving herself. No, I'm talking about the church of the gridiron. So in honor of football Sunday, here you go.

Black Friday!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was filled with old people sleeping, shitty food and someone kept changing the channel from football to those lame ass parades. I mean, it's really not that exciting to see row after row of band geeks followed by a 30 foot tall Shrek. Anywho, today is the greatest shopping day in the world and it's called Black Friday. So, in honor of this day, here you go.

Turkey Day

Just like the settlers from the Mayflower I love a hot Indian chick. So, for a nice Thanksgiving day present, here you go.


p.s. - I know she's EAST INDIAN, but who gives a shit.

Bored

SO, I'm just sitting here bored off my ass so i said to myself, "Why don't you post more pics of hot chicks?" Of course I answered myself. "Ok smart ass, which ones should I post? And why don't you stop being such a fuckin psycho and stop talking to yourself like some retard at lunch at the Costco on Shaw and Golden State?" Ok, here you go.



Awww the lake. Hotties love to let their hair down and have some fun. I guess it's also a place where fat albino douchebags can let their man-boobs hang out. That dill-hole almost ruined a good pic. Almost.




More lake Hotties. Notice the Coors Light being downed? TRUE Fresno lake Hotties do shots of GHB until they pass out in my tent. That's how we roll.



Now I know that these aren't Hotties, but they are showing something us something very important. Notties can't swim.

p.s. - I know the Nottie on the right is do-able, but so is the 42 year-old slinging pancakes at BJ's Country Kitchen, but she's not a Hottie.

Model Hotties

I don't know who this chick but she's smokin hot. If anyone has any idea let me know so I can give this lady a shout out. Man, I am so 1996.

Around the Town Hotties

Alright, I've showed you two types of Hotties located in the great City of Fresno. First, I gave you the Professional Hottie and second was the Model Hottie and now I introduce you to the Around the Town Hottie. These are the Hotties you see at Doghouse Grill or Pangaea. More than likely they're sorority girls, and always run in packs and NEVER gives me the time of day. So feast your eyes on some of Fresno's Hotties.

Nothing says hot like "crazy eyes", and if so this girl is all kinds of hot.

Hottie on Halloween with the hot costume. Halloween has to be 100 times better as an adult because this is what you get rather than some stupid ass candy corn or bite size snickers. Oh wait, I love bite size snickers. Nevermind.

More hot Halloween costumes. Every great Halloween costume starts with the word slutty. As you can see here we have a slutty soldier and a slutty cave woman. Anyone who has spent five minutes in either the military or as a caveman knows that the women never looked like this. Thank you Arounders, you make Fresno almost bearable.

Ok, time for some real hottieness

Sorry, everyone. I totally forgot to post some actual "hot" pics.

Time to get this blog going!

In the hours and hours of searching for internet hotness I noticed a recurring theme. None seem to come from the crap hole I call a home, Fresno CA. Don't get me wrong, I know there's tons out there because anyone who has enjoyed a nice Saturday afternoon Bulldog game knows exactly what I'm talking about. Nothing brings out the short-shorts and tanks like a sweltering 105 degree afternoon game against Whogivesashit U. But, my favorite place to get my Fresno Hotty fix is the old boob tube. You got it, the evening news. So I am letting you guys feast your eyes on some Fresno's finest.

Ashlee Tate Channel 30 - No discussion about TV Newsgirl hottness can start without Ashlee Tate. A former Arizona Cardinal Cheerleader who does justice to any sweater she decides to wear.

Jennifer Brice, Channel 24 - I know she just dropped off 8lbs of "make you not hot anymore", but she still does it for me. I was floored when she first started at KSEE and am proud as pie to have her back, amazingly hot and sultry.

Amanda Peres Channel 30 - Ah yes, Amanda Peres. Girl next door meets hot Latina. And she doesn't over do her name like Crotchisyella Modeno.

Itica Milanes Channel 30 - Itica is definately the elder stateswoman of the crew, but by no means is she too old to nab. Nothing is better than a Sunday morning sweater contest between Itica and Ashlee.

Heidi Watney Channel 26 - Ok, I'm normally waaay against chicks doing sports, but Heidi can make me not give a shit sometimes. All-American good looks, knows what a triple-double is and probably wouldn't mind letting me post-up. Ok, I know about the 500 feet thing and going back to jail, but I swear she said "come hither" with her eyes.

New Chick Channel 24 - Ok, last but not least the new chick. I saw her doing some fireperson stuff and she seemed pretty hot.

As you can tell there are no pics up from channel 47 and I'll tell you why. The only one hotworthy is Zara and she's knocked up. So until she can prove that she can "Brice" back she's off the hot list.

There you go. The first round of Fresno Hotties is in the books. Now, I know that you will want to see more and I would be much abliged.